Choose to shift your mindset from forced action to empowered choice.
One of the first signs that you’re going to fail is feeling like you have to force yourself to do something. Before you jump in and disagree, hear me out. Today, I’m going to share with you the difference between the “I have to” and “I choose to” mindsets and which one you should practice as you go through life day by day.
The “I have to” mindset
Have you ever caught yourself saying things like “I have to,” “I should,” or “I must”? While these phrases seem harmless, the demands we place on ourselves often create resistance, putting us in a victim mindset and sometimes leading to negative self-talk.
Creating resistance within yourself slows you down. The results are usually procrastination, making excuses, or performing poorly at work and in life. Seeing the world like we “have to” show up puts us in a position to complain until we feel anger and resentment instead of excitement for life.
The “I choose to” mindset
The opposite of the “I have to” mindset is the “I choose to” mindset. This way of thinking presents you with the option of having a “choice” instead of feeling obligated, which is healthier.
An author once said that the only thing we truly have to do in life is to die; everything else is a choice. It’s more than just choosing what to wear or when to go out of the house; it extends to how we choose to talk to ourselves and show up when we need to. The way we talk to ourselves changes as well—from obligation to intention, acknowledging that we are acting out of our free will.
When we feel like we don’t have a choice, we feel powerless, which is contrary to choosing to do something. To be intentional with your choices empowers us and gives us a sense of accomplishment after getting things done. Naturally, we also foster an attitude of striving for excellence, increased energy, determination, and resolve. On top of resilience, clarity, and action-taking.
How to shift from a “have to” to a “choose to” mindset
To change the way you think, start by identifying areas of resistance in your life. What tasks do you feel obligated to do? Then, ask yourself probing questions: What if I didn’t do this? Am I okay with the consequences? What benefits come from taking action?
Incorporate “think time” into your routine, as suggested by Keith Cunningham in “The Road Less Stupid.” Use this time to reflect on your choices and uncover solutions that align with your goals.
Ultimately, eliminate “musts,” “have to’s,” and “ought to’s” from your vocabulary. By embracing a language of choice, you’ll find yourself closer to living your dream life and becoming the best version of yourself. In the meantime, don’t hesitate to call or email me with any questions. I look forward to hearing from you.
